Running...

Running is kind of like riding a bike.  It's just really slow and very hot.  The one thing I've found while crawling down the street and up the hills is there are no distractions.  No cars, pot holes, off camber turns, traffic lights or even other runners.  It's just me and my mind.  It starts to get warm and I think about the last few years of my life without emotional attachment.  Particularly I remember the beginning of my relationship with my wife - which at the time I thought was great - but now I view differently.  I know, EXWIFE!  I'm practicing that one.  It'll take a while...

One thing that stands out when I examine the early years of our life together is a lot of chaos.  Things just were always happening to that girl and eventually they were happening to me as well.  A lot of my not-so-close friends had seemed to cross some kind of invisible line with her.  Hmmmmm...nothing unusual there, right?!?  And then there was the incident of the alledged stalker.  Totally normal.  Followed by her revolving door of lost jobs and non-existent family I should have known to get out.  I was warned by EVERYONE I knew to just drop her - but I stuck around.

Much like my estranged spouse my life has turned full circle again.  I am back in school and now running every day to make sure I sleep every night. While I watch her cycle of distruction begin again I realize I am different.  I keep expecting to fall to pieces but it's not happening.  I'm not even dating to try and distract myself from the truth.  When I look at her now I just feel happy to be out of my marriage (well, two months and twenty days from out) and I know her misery will continue on for someone else now.  Good luck to that poor guy.  Good luck!