I figured out what my problem has been the last month or two - I still live with my exwife. I am moving out Thursday and all of a sudden I'm normal again. Totally normal. I have a personality that is not some strange immitation of what I think I typically sound like. I feel happy. I smile. When people ask me how I'm doing - I tell the truth, and I think they even believe me!
So I was planning on moving to a land far far away. Basically, out of the county and at least twenty minutes away from the former wife, but something happened. I started feeling really sad about leaving Folsom. I know I have been through some serious stuff there, but every where I look I am only reminded of my bicycle. Yes, I think I did stuff with my ex wife, but then I rode my bike through there too...and that's all I remember. Did I go to dinner at Chicago Fire with her, and it was all awkward because she was cheating on me...probably. But all I remember is being really hungry from the three and a half hours of bike riding I did immediately before the dinner. In fact, I was so famished that I really think my blood sugar was too low to even store memories.
Okay, so I ended up moving to the next building over. It's in a totally different condo development and I have zero intention of giving her the address. And, will never EVER reveal the secret gate code to her! Well, it ended up being a little bit different than I planned it. So let's get on with this life stuff. All that divorce/being married business is over and now I can just focus on my daughter and making new memories in a nutritionally depleted state.