Friday, August 29, 2014

One year later...

I have a confession to make--I kind of fell into a dark place after graduation.  Yeah, I'm sure no one I know would be surprized, but I'll admit I did not expect it.  So I drifted down into some abyss inside my soul and just like hated on myself for a bit.  I hated on myself for a huge gambit of reasons ranging from the obvious to the introspective.  And then...I noticed on the twitter Gheto CX Pickups were going to start.  

So I get a cross bike and go to the pickups expecting all the usual elitism found on the road, but everyone was pretty cool.  So, scared out of my freaking mind I race and have a blast.  The Folsom pickup takes a break and I venture down to West Sac only to find a huge freaking party going down.  Once again, everyone is totally cool. So I'm doing this thing now.  I'm at the park hoping on and off my bike over and over.  I'm at the dirt track trying to do workouts in some kind of consistent manner.  I'm riding way fewer miles and looking at getting faster.  And then, I wandered my way over to where I'm at today.  

I'm excited.  I have all these super fun races coming up and now I see that I was just super lost. I totally ate it on dating.  I tried all the pathetic internet stuff, and dated all these girls that didn't give two shits about me because I felt all this pressure to resume my previous life.  But to be honest, that life really fucking sucked.  Like really blew major chunks.  You know when you watch the movie "Old School" and you think how freaking sad it is that "Frank the Tank" is marrying into a pathetic middle class-suburban life--that was my life.  Maybe, you do not agree with me that "Frank the Tank" is awesome, shotgunning beers and working on his hotrod--but I do.  

So I tried to ram myself back into the mold that I never fit into to begin with, and I just couldn't stand it.  And then I sank down.  So I go to these races for the summer while I'm kind of still doing the swirl around the toliet bowl of modern dating but I won't budge on the pickups.  Next I'm more focused on getting better and then...oh my lord, I have an eupiphany. My life does not have to suck.  I can just do the things I enjoy and not worry about trolling department stores with some boring ass woman because I, like "Frank the Tank" am much cooler the way I am.