Fragmented me or I cannot ignore reality...

I would like to think if anyone ever were to write the story of my life it would be me...or atleast the guy who wrote Obama's autobiography.  Well, if The Bell Jar could have been written by a man it would be called The End of the Road--and it's not exactly a happy tale.  Apparently this is where I should stop writing because it's about to get very personal--and probably random and vague.

I have a rule about making life decisions.  If I am swimming in a sea of confusion I do not make any choices.  I just freeze all decisions of all magnitude except for the ones that are immediate for day-to-day living.  However, let's just postulate that this mantra is not always effective.  I once wanted to break up with someone and I decided to wait until after the holidays...and now look at me, divorced seven years later.  Was it the right decision?  Was it a calculated decision?  Would my life look like it does now with allowing the more dangerous and careless aspect of my personality do a little bit of driving?  I'm really not sure.  I know that I am happy.  I know that the dangerous place in my mind that acts without thinking does not take any crap from anyone.  I know that I am not going to deal with being treated poorly--maybe it is the solution.

Also does anyone think I only posted a post about dirt roads to make a little bit of space between two posts?  I'm sure it does not look like that, right?

Dirt roads

Turning down my first dirt road on my new bike was some kind of undiscovered and illicit pleasure that I have never really understood.  I found myself stuck between two points staring at a path that I thought was paved...and in my mind it was covered in asphalt, but in reality was nothing but a dirt road.  I debated finding some kind of alternate route as I did not really want to ride the new bike off road, but I caved into my desire to get home before the rain.  As I gingerly rolled down the trail and watched the mountain bikers and runners pass by I found out it's actually fun.

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and...

Alright, let's just get into this one.  If there was a singlular subject I should not post on the internet on my secret blog (that only serves to give me some amusement), it would be the beginning of a new relationship.  I mean, let's face it--it's kind of a delicate issue.  In April I swore I would never do this relationship thing ever again...but here I am, writing about one.  So what should I say?  One thing I will say is in order for me to be excited about spending time with another person they must be pretty spectacular.  And wonderful in a fashion that is like an increase in powers from ten-to-the-one to ten-to-the-sixth because that is what it would take for me to love someone.

What I did not expect was to see someone and be speechless.  What I did not expect was to find myself in the middle of some kind of fairytale romance.  I never dreamed that I would dream again, but life is surprising.